Children: Bea, 6 and Penny, 2
Expectations of Motherhood: That having a child would be the next exciting adventure in our lives.
It wouldn’t be as hard as they say because I work with kids (I honestly thought this).
Reality of Motherhood: Bonkers every bit of it, the deep love you feel for the baby in your arms, the lengthy discussions you will now have with other women about your down stairs bits, the crazy nights and lack of sleep, your new love for Prosecco, going back/not going back to work, reading beautiful stories at bedtime, never going to the toilet alone, the things you find yourself say: ‘ where’s the lid for the unicorn poo?’ – all brilliantly bonkers!
Taking your children home: Bringing my eldest home looking back now it was like a scene from a comedy sketch–we had no idea what we were doing!
With my second if I’m honest I really struggled at first. She was a much longed for 2nd child – I had 5 miscarriages in between – and so I had thought our bond would be instant, but I felt constantly guilty. Guilty that I couldn’t be the Mum I was before to my eldest, guilty I couldn’t divide the love, guilty I had no time, guilty I found it hard after longing for another child. The ‘Mum of 2’ life was a whole new skill that took a while for me to learn.
The best advice: “Make sure you ring me, I’m always there if you need to chat”. Never ever under-estimate how much another mother can help you feel better, doesn’t mater if you met them that day, on the street, online or have known them forever, they will be your life line. Mine were, and still are, 6 yrs later.
The worst advise: I can honestly say we were never given terrible advice. In fact with my 2nd we were very lucky to be part of one of the last funded One2one midwife support placements in Trafford.
Hardest parts of being a mother: There are lots of things that are hard about being a parent and I’m sure these will change as we all grow older together, but I’m extremely grateful to be given the gift of motherhood (sorry I know this is cheesy) and my experience is, that for every sleepless night, tantrum, desire to go out dancing till 3am, and secret fag at the end of the garden, there is a cuddle, giggle, first step, and little friend for life that makes it 100% worth it.
Best part of being a mum: So many: holding my daughter Bea for the first time, I looked at her and felt like I had known her all my life, like I’d just been dreaming of her and waiting to meet her–it was pure love. Seeing my close friends become mums, supporting them like I was supported by others. My relationship with my mum and sister has always been fab but now we have our own ‘mum tribe’.
Has being a mother changed you? Being a mum has changed me professionally, I work in education, supporting families and children to re-engage with school, and when I became a parent in a strange way I felt like I was in their parent gang now, we could chat more, they knew I got it, the highs and lows.
Motherhood also brought together the creation of ‘Our Kids Social’, without our little ones we would never have been sat there in my living room surrounded by rice cakes and squeaky toys craving a space to socialise and quality entertainment for our kids.
Hopes for your family: I hope our children grow up with a craving for adventure and eyes open to all the beautiful things in the world. I would be happy with that.
Any advice for new and expectant mums? My advice would be, don’t go through the hard times alone, share your feelings good and bad, find support and be there for others.
One of my fondest moments was meeting my good friend and OKS co-founder Hannah at a sling meet. A lovely lady helped us strap our 3 week babies into our slings and we sat down and both just cried, big fat tears straight into our tea. I have no idea why but we did, I felt great on my drive home, like all my worries had been cured by blubbing and laughing in a sling!
Alice is one of the founder members of ‘Our Kids Social’.
Our Kids Social came about as a direct result of our Motherhood. Friends who coincidentally landed on mat leave at the same time, we shared laughter, tears and endless brews. After all the usual soft play and baby classes, we wanted something different and eventually decided to take the plunge – in Feb 2016 we had our first Social.
With the purpose of bringing families together in our creative community we aimed something for everyone – and the opportunity for a pint. We wanted a ‘knees up with your nippers’ and this is exactly what we have done. collaborating with local small businesses we pioneer family focussed social events with music, arts, sensory and fun. DJs, Silent Disco, Face-Paint, Craft and more!
With a variety of social events across the North-West’s iconic buildings, Supper Clubs at our fave family restaurants, festival pop-ups and infamous birthday parties – we are growing and we are so proud of what we have achieved.
You can find us at – www.ourkids.social
FB – ourkidssocial
Insta and Twitter – @ourk_s