Dani and Oscar

Name: Dani

Child: Oscar, 16 months

Location: Tyldesley

Expectations of Motherhood: That it would all come naturally and I would know what to do (how wrong I was). 

Reality of Motherhood: Becoming a parent takes time and getting to know your baby takes time too, it’s mostly trial and error for me.

Taking your child/children home for the first time: Is a blur, he seemed so tiny, but the circumstances seemed huge. He quickly became the centre of everything.

The best/worst advice: The best advice was that my baby is not just a baby, he’s a person, he isn’t going to be like every other baby and do what people say their babies do.

The worst thing someone recently said to me; “when things get tough do I just put up and crack on” I did in the beginning and that is the worst thing I could have done, so now I ask for help.

The hardest part/s of being a mother: There’s no predictability with being a parent, this tiny human seems to make the rules (not all of them). But I have to take from his lead, something that hasn’t come naturally. And remembering his firsts are my firsts, I can’t beat myself up every time I haven’t got the answer, I’ve got to roll with it. The whinging, nothing can mentally prepare you for a full day of whinging. 

The best parts of being a mother: The love; the love is incredible, indescribable, life-changing, breath-taking. He has taught me the value of life and people. And I learn from him every day, he surprises me every day as he grows and learns and develops.

Has becoming a mother changed you: Completely, I am a different human. This hasn’t been an easy one to accept, I am not who I was. I’m not 100% sure who I am now or who I’m going to be, but I know I’m a better mother for being different.

Has your perspective on work changed since becoming a mother: Massively, the ladder doesn’t appeal to me anymore, that doesn’t mean it won’t in the future. Right now work has to fit in with the nursery drop off and pick up.

Hopes for your family: My husband works away and while he is a massive support over the weekend, during the week can be quite tough. I know so many women probably nail this lifestyle with multiple children, but I’m not sure I could and I wouldn’t take that risk with a human. I hope one day he can work from home and get to do bath time more than twice a week, but I know he cherishes this time with him. I am really trying to live in the moment and appreciate the little things, the walks to the park with a tiny football, the giggles from silly faces and not take anything for granted.

What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: You make the rules; what works for me might be your nightmare. Make it work for you, you have to be comfortable with yourself as a parent. Your gut is your new best friend – if something doesn’t feel right with your baby, it probably isn’t. And Mum knows best…end of. Dad is great, but Mum is most likely with Babes all day at least for a few months; she rules the roost. And try to rest – I’m still not great at this, but I’m getting better.

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