Expectations of Motherhood: I have always wanted to be a mother but circumstances have meant that having a birth child of my own is not going to be an option. I don’t think I had ever thought that I would become a mother by myself but having found myself single and in my 40s realised that adoption was going to be the best way for me to achieve my goal. I was never concerned about having a baby and also knew that I wanted to adopt a sibling group. The adoption process takes quite a while and during that time I tried not to think too hard about what my children would be like. Instead I spent the time on preparation courses, speaking to other adopters and reading as much about adoption as I could. I like to think that I had realistic expectations and knew that any children I would eventually adopt would have had a difficult start in life.
Once I knew about K and A I considered them to be mine- however they were strangers to me and they did not even know I existed! I knew that taking on 2 children at once would be challenging, not least because they have differing needs, but I felt that I was prepared for it! For 4 months I only knew them from photographs and reports.
It has been so much fun getting to know their personalities, their likes and dislikes and building up new memories together. It has also been fantastic introducing them to my family and friends as well as making new friends together. I think we enrich each other’s lives and are all different as a result of having each other. The milestones of being a mother so far have been in terms of officialdom, first review, dates of court hearings, changing names etc. but now that all of that is behind us I feel like I can move forward with just enjoying being a mum.
The best/worst advice: The best advice I have been given is to ‘ditch the ironing!’
The best parts of being a mother: The cuddles!! It has also been watching the children grow in confidence as they become more secure. I am proud of their achievements and love spending time with them. Sometimes strangers tell me how much my daughter looks like me and that gives me a warm glow inside!
Hopes for your family: My main hope is that my children have a life full of love and opportunities. We are fortunate to have amazing friends, and the children enjoy school and have a sense of adventure so are always keen to try new things. I hope that this continues.
What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: To anybody considering adoption I would say ‘go for it’. It is not an easy option and you need to go into it with your eyes wide open, but the rewards can be amazing!