Lynsey and Martha

Name: Lynsey

Child: Martha, 2.5 yrs

Location: Didsbury, Manchester

Expectations of motherhood: I’ve always known that I’ve wanted children when the right person came along. I also expected to get pregnant straight away which wasn’t the case. After suffering an ectopic pregnancy I thought I’d never become a mother, then Martha came along! I had a lovely childhood, it couldn’t have been better; so many great memories. I wanted my child to have the same.

Reality of motherhood: I was lucky enough to not get morning sickness at all, although I did have low iron which made pregnancy difficult at times. 

I didn’t have a straight forward birth, however and was in labour for just over 24 hours. I had forceps and had to have a blood transfusion too. I also had to go into theatre after Martha was born to have my placenta removed. I was beyond tired and didn’t feel all these wonderful amazing feelings I was told I’d feel. 

Of course I loved Martha instantly; I loved her before I’d even met her! After the birth all I can remember is wanting to sleep and being shocked by the size of her (9lbs 4).

She had the cutest little ears and button nose, but I remember her lying next to me and looking at her and feeling so terrified that this gorgeous little girl was my responsibility. She was no longer in my belly and I felt scared that I’d never be able to protect her as much as I’d like to.

Taking your child home for the first time: Everything seemed such a blur. I was so proud when Paul came to pick us up from the hospital to take us home. Walking out with Martha was the proudest moment ever. I remember she wouldn’t settle in her Moses basket so she slept in her car seat. She also slept on my chest a lot, which I know is not “the right thing to do” but it worked for us – and if Martha was happy then so was I!

Best/ worst advice: The best advice I was given was to do what felt right to me and that no one should tell you what to do with your baby. The same goes with pain relief during labour. I didn’t have a birth plan, I just did what I felt I had to do when the time came. 

The worst advice for me personally was not to pick your child up every time they cry and not to rock them to sleep. Everyone has different views, but I didn’t believe in the “let them cry it out” theory. All babies are different and I don’t believe in things being done by the book. It’s natural that babies want to feel love and be close to their mothers. I rocked Martha to sleep when she was a tiny baby and we’ve not had problems with her sleeping because of this. 

There is also a lot of pressure on women to breast feed. Not necessarily from the midwives, but society. I chose not to breast feed – not because I couldn’t, I just chose not to.

Hardest part of being a mother: The worry! I’ve been worrying about Martha since the day I found out I was pregnant. When she was born I was constantly checking she was breathing. I still sometimes find myself doing that now! 

When Martha was 6 weeks old we found out from a scan that she had hip dysplasia and she would have to wear a Pavlik harness for 12 weeks. It was so hard not being able to see her kick her little legs or to see her tiny toes. The harness is used to readjust the hips so that they align in the joint and keep the hip joint secure. 

I really didn’t want her to wear the harness and it broke my heart, but we knew it was the best thing for her. Now she is fine, so it was worth it. We were told it was more common in girls who are over 9lbs at birth.

I live away from my parents which is quite hard when having a young child and my partner works long hours, so sometimes when I need that little break for 5 minutes I know its just not going to happen.

Best part of being a mother: Hearing Martha call me mummy and the cuddles! Just spending time with her, seeing her happy and having fun. When I see her playing and wanting to follow other children and copy them it makes my heart melt. It’s so cute I could cry. 

Martha is such a little comedian too. She makes us laugh, and the more we laugh the more she laughs! Her favourite food is ginger cake and she only drinks chamomile tea, which is funny.

I’m lucky enough to be a stay at home mum. I had the choice of going back to work or spending my time with my daughter. I know some people want to go back to work and that’s their decision, but to stay at home with my little girl was the best thing for me and Martha. I didn’t want to miss a thing and wanted taking care of my daughter to be my job.

Has becoming a mum changed you? In a way it has yes. I now have other priorities and have someone to worry about other than myself! I now prefer cosy nights in with my family to going out drinking!

Hopes for your family: As long as Martha is happy and healthy that is all I hope for. I will support her in whatever makes her happy!

Advice to new & expectant mums:Do what works for you! We don’t really have a set routine with Martha. She goes to bed and gets up when she wants and she’s the most chilled out child ever!

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