Child: Arthur, 27 months
Expectations of Motherhood: I expected to love it, but I also had the fear that I’d never work again and the person I knew as me would be very different once I became a mum.
Reality of Motherhood: I do love it, and amazingly I am still me! I still look for fun and take risks, but now Arty does it with me.
I like being a family but it challenges me everyday. Motherhood is a trunk full of contradictions. Sometimes I feel sick with the responsibility of balancing all of our needs and inevitably I neglect my own. Sometimes I feel utterly elated and like I have it all, but I’m pretty flat out a lot of the time so tiredness is more of a theme than ever before. It’s boring to talk about it, but the lack of sleep plus that feeling of being needed like never before can drive you loopy.
Taking your child home for the first time: Terrifying!!
We’d been begging to be released from hospital, which made it feel that we were in prison by the end, but ironically taking him into the fresh air was so scary.
I could hardly walk, I had no clue how to put him in the car, I banned the radio and all conversation. I was a wreck. When we got him home and placed him on the sofa in his car seat, only then it dawned on us that he was actually ours. Totally bizarre to think back.
The house was tidy back then, and pretty calm. He brought an importance and significance to our newly rented house in Urmston; it became home. That sounds Cheesy but looking back true.
The best/worst advice: This is my advice: Don’t buy musical toys, stay connected to people, each phase will pass.
Worst advice: sleep when they sleep (it’s not bad advice just rarely what you want to do).
The hardest parts of being a mother: Ooooh difficult to answer.
Being so sensitive to his hurt and not being able to switch off.
The best parts of being a mother:The laugher and fun. The inane face pulling, silly noises and distraction techniques that give you licence to be an idiot on the bus!
Has becoming a mother changed you? Yes. I’m more intensely me probably. Manic and lovable, I reckon.
I need to socialise more, chat and clear my head with all kinds of people. I’ve never had so many Meetings….Motherhood let’s you do that, I have found it very sociable.
Has your perspective on work changed since becoming a mother? Yes I work hard, but still it doesn’t feel enough. Being freelance I generate my own work which has no limits. My work/life/motherhood balance changes every week and I do what I can but often over-commit.
I love working and mothering and don’t want to change that. I do find it hard to predict the future work-wise which is a concern sometimes. I am more driven, but have less energy!
Hopes for your family:I hope we help arty grow to be confident, ambitious and content and that we also do the same as his parents. He has taught me about patience, commitment and the possibility for fun in everyday long let that reign. I hope we all grow and support each other’s growth. If arty is comfortable with new people and can hold his own I think that’s a great attribute.
What advice would you offer to new and expectant mums: Your vulnerability is an opportunity to form new friendships, learn about yourself and enjoy lots of cake.
Alice Teaches Yoga in Manchester and is @yogimama on Twitter as well as being on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/YogiMamaManchester
She also runs The Performers Playground with her partner Mark.