Vivienne, Ed and Joe

Name: Vivienne

Children: Ed, 6 and Joe, 3.5

Location: Sale

Previous blog entry: http://www.the-mothers.co.uk/2011/10/vivienne-and-ed.html

Life since the last blog post: Since I last took part I have had another child (Joe), I have changed jobs to a more flexible working role which means I can work at home 3 or 4 days a week and we have moved house. 

 

Motherhood since last being on the blog: Motherhood has changed me massively. 

 
I feel I am far more mature, patient, responsible (some may say boring?) and care less about things that bothered me since I first became a mum. I am also far more relaxed and chilled with my second, I think anyway! 
 
First time round I did every baby group going which helped me in every way, but second time I attended barely anything, I just didn’t have the time and I didn’t feel needed to. 

 
Has motherhood changed you? I do worry a lot about the future and things that are way out of my control. I worry about getting old, and what will happen to the boys, and the world I am bringing them up in; things I perhaps wouldn’t have thought so much about before. 

Looking back I think I was quite selfish before I became a mother, I partied quite a lot and life was all about having a good time. Of course it still is, but having a good time is now spending a relaxed weekend with the boys and an early night! This to me is bliss! 
 
Hardest parts of being a mother: The hardest part for me is the worrying about the future for my children. I worry about them being unhappy and having poor health. I worry about school, and the friendships they may make (or don’t make). I basically worry. I’m a natural born worrier unfortunately, although I have a great group of other mum friends who put my mind at ease on a regular basis! 
 
 
Best parts of being a mother: The best part about being a mother for me is definitely the overwhelming feeling of love you have for another person. I know I am very lucky but the unconditional love we have for each other is the best feeling in the world, and to hear them say, ‘I love you mummy’ makes my heart explode every time I hear it. 

Every night before they go to sleep I lie with them and they tell me about their days including their best ‘bits’. I love hearing about what they’ve been up to and how they view what’s happened for them during the day. 

As they get older they’re becoming our, and each other’s, little pals. I am so proud of seeing what they can and do achieve. 

Also having two, seeing them play nicely together is amazing (and rare!) and makes me want to keep them like this forever. 
What you wish you’d known before having children: That it is a lot harder than you realise. Everything about it is hard. The lack of sleep, the constant demands on your time, your time is not yours anymore! But this definitely gets easier the older they get! 
Any more advice for mothers and expectant mums: Don’t read the books, don’t google, listen to your intuition; speak to other real life mums and get their advice. I googled everything to death and read every book going first time round but I found, and still find, the most invaluable bits of advice are from other mums.

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